Sunday, September 08, 2002

It was early morning. I had just woken up but I could see no one else in the family had slept. Everyone looked scared and I didn’t know why. Ma told me that some people with swords and sickles were killing people because a train had been burnt three days back. I still didn’t understand fully. She said don’t go out. So I went to the backyard and picked up my puppy.

I was hungry. Ma usually bathes me and gets me breakfast by this time but today no one even talked to me. They were all busy talking to themselves. I went back inside and sat on Ma’s lap. My uncle picked me up and said “Don’t sit on her lap, you will hurt her tummy. See your brother is inside her tummy”. My mummy’s tummy was like an egg. She would let me talk to my brother inside her once in a while. She never told me how he got in there in the first place. Or what he was doing in there. Uncle gave me an apple to eat while they talked. I shared the apple with my puppy.

I don’t know when I had dozed off but I was suddenly woken up by lot of noise. There was someone banging on the door heavily. People were shouting outside our house. Mummy was hugging my grandma. I wanted to cry but was too scared to do that. Suddenly the door broke open and lot of people came screaming in. Everyone was shouting his own thing. My uncles were not to be seen. Only my Ma and Grandma were there.

“Please leave us… we have done nothing”. Ma said. Grandma was crying and was sitting on the floor.
“Who cares whether you have done anything or not. We don’t want you or your kind in this place. And we know only one way to get you out of here”. Many were laughing while they threw everything down. Some were smashing the tv, glass case, tables…

I hugged my Ma’s leg as I stood by her.

They pulled my grandma and started thrashing her by hand. Ma went to help grandma but she fell back when one of them kicked her in the tummy. Ma got up crying. I don’t know why but she started to run out of the house. I followed her crying. She was faster than me but there were others who were chasing her. One of them hit her leg with an iron thing he was carrying. Ma fell down. Before I could reach her someone picked me up. I kept kicking.

Ma was screaming and so was I. Someone hit Ma again on the tummy. Ma was dragging herself on the ground. I could see her saree had turned red. Someone picked up a small red thing from floor. It looked like little baby. Ma was still screaming in pain. He threw the baby back on floor and within a minute it was on fire. People were telling my mother… we will burn you like this as well. They threw something like water on her. I was too tired to kick around now. I just cried. My mother was on fire.

The person holding me held be my head. My feet were dangling in air. He was pressing my head hard and I couldn’t even scream. His fingers were pushing against my eyes. It was hurting me a lot. I felt some warm liquid come out of my eyes. He let go of me. Suddenly there was no pain, but I couldn’t see. I tried to open my eyes…

It has been months since this happened. Everyday I sit near the window sill hoping that one day I will see something again. Maybe I will see when my mother comes and feeds me from her hand. Or when she lets me talk to my brother in her tummy. But I have not seen her since that day. Uncle told me she won’t come back. She has gone far away. But I know she will come back. She loves me. At seven years of age, what more do I want? I only want my mummy.


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