Wednesday, September 04, 2002

I woke up this morning and found myself all cuddled up in front of a gate. One of the benifits of blogging is that you can take a different avatar every morning. I looked around and it was just dawning. I don't know whose house I was lying in front of but hey I don't care. Its not like I'm paying rent or anything.

I wanted to dose back only to hear someone saying 'get off my way mutt'. I looked up and saw a man holding milk can. He had parked his cycle next to me and was shooing me. I didn't budge. He didn't give up. He shoved me with his feet and almost rolled me over. Man, thats rude. I mean, its bad as it is to be a stray dog and not being able to read comics and all, but this guy was shoving me around. He opened the gate and went to deliver the milk. A minute later he was humming and heading back to gate. I was still mad at him. I wanted to curse him and I did but all he could hear was a growl. He just stood there looking at me. He took one more step and one more curse (read growl) from me. Hey this was fun :-) Suddenly he shouted 'oye, kutte.. itna maroonga tujhe..' and that pissed me off. I mean, I know Im bad in hindi but hey...

I just jumped up and before I knew it he had started running down the road. I chased him a bit but he was faster than me. Now I know why dogs love chasing. Its really fun :-) Can't wait for the postman to come by. I couldn't catch the milkman coz I still needed to get used to my four legs. Four legs?! Hmm.. I looked at them. They all looked same. I cuddled down again. Hardly had I shut my eyes I heard some commotion. I saw the milkman but with him were few more people. He had come to get his cycle back. They all came close. I kinda felt scared but when I speak all they hear is growls. 'Arey yeh pagal kutta hai, maro isey..' and when I heard that, man, I didn't need to get used to my four legs. Nor improvise on my hindi. I ran. I ran like anything.

Long I ran before I stopped. I was panting. I could see my tongue. Cool :-) There was something between my legs. I looked down - it was my tail. Tail ??l! neat :-) I looked lovingly at my tail. I wagged it. My whole bum shook. Suddenly I remembered the saying - dogs chasing their tails. I decided to try it. I tried catching my tail but I kept missing. And before I knew it I was going in circles.I wanted to sit but I got confused whether I should tuck my tail in or leave it out. Quite confusing really. Humans with beards also have this problem - they get confused whether to sleep with beard over or under the blanket. I gave up. I just decided to lie on my side. Wondered... what if humans had tails? I mean would it be an erotic piece of flesh or something natural like leg or hand that you can openly display? Imagine the tail being private zone.. hehe. Guys will say mine is longer than yours. Girls will show off the clevage of the tails and bum. And KPS Gill will get a reprimand for pinching tails. Pathetic humans.

I was hungry. I decided to hang around a restaurant. They are bound to throw things away. I was wrong. It was almost evening and nothing came by my way. Humans are so lucky. They can speak and ask what they want. But many people take their gift of speech for granted. It was late and the shop was being shut. I was really hungry and sort of cried. I howled in pain only to be shoo-ed away by people chucking stones at me. I went and lied down inside a cement pipe by the side of the road. Don't know whether it was sleep or hunger that shut my eyes. I hoped when I woke up I would be a different avatar.


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